"Baby, everyone would know. I'd tell them. I'd brag about it." I could move here," I said."You're 17 fucking years old," she said. "Who's going to pay...me tobabysit? Time isn't right for us, Ryan. You know that."I wiped away a tear. "I'll be back," I said."I know," she said.* * *When I was 26, I finally went to a professional. Her name was MistressJune, and she was a dominatrix.I was nervous about it. I envisioned whips and chains and a bitchyattitude. Still, sex is hard to come by when you live. When she removed the clothes from the final package, it was mid-morning of the following day. She put them away and then toured the room. She strolled through her walk-in closet and viewed the dresses, skirts, blouses and pants, some of them suits, some of them separates, that hung neatly on both sides. She looked down on the selection of shoes that she had positioned on the floor. Leaving the closet, she opened her dresser drawers one at a time and lovingly ran her hands over the selection of. It was almost as if he couldn'tthrow the punch for some reason, his fist hovering in midair withoutmoving forward.Then the blonde guy smiled. "No need for this," he said in a voicethat while calm brooked no argument.Now it was Brooks' turn to play the macho game. He tapped the bigblonde on the shoulder and demanded, "Just who are you to break up aprivate conversation?"The blonde smiled even wider. "The name's Apollo, and the managementpays me to keep conversations from getting out of. "Coach says the three elements of training --technique, strength and conditioning -- are like the three legs of a stool. I guess a couple of my legs are a bit short." Are you comfortable naked?" Elaine asked."Why wouldn't I be? I'm still in The Program, after all." I just thought..." She let her voice trail off.I wasn't about to admit that I wasn't totally comfortable. I felt vulnerable in a way I never had before, which was stupid. I tried to tell myself nothing had changed, but I wrapped.
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